Denise Dopkins' legal battle with her son's adoptive parents

LEGALITIES RE MY SON’S ADOPTIVE PARENTS DEMANDS




by Denise Dopkins on Saturday, October 23, 2010 at 2:15pm

I received a letter from my son's adoptive parents via their attorney. Meegan and James Ware are threatening me with legal action if I do not comply with their demands. My son's natural father receives letters and photos from the adoptive parents as per an Open Adoption Agreement they entered into. I refused to write my son off to the state, so I am not offered any visits, photos or letters. However, I receive copies of photos and letters from Micah's natural father. The adoptive parents are demanding that I remove said photos from any website I am connected with. They are also demanding that I stop using my son's legal name in any of my Internet writings. They inform me that if I do not comply with their demands, they will seek a court's order to force me to comply. They also say they will seek a restraining order against me for 'invasion of privacy'. The fact of the matter is-- I have not invaded anyone's privacy. I learned the last name of the adoptive family because it was not deleted from the DSHS social file when it was given to me. I have merely granted my son the common decency of referring to him by his legal name. I also claim him as my own flesh and blood because I am his natural mother and nobody can change that fact. Even the law states that it is the right of all children to know who their natural parents are. It occurs to me that the adoptive parents wish to hide my identity from my son. (Birth name Micah Barrett-- adopted name Austin Ware.) Oddly enough, though... the adoptive parents clearly informed the natural father that they would not hide from Micah the fact that he is adopted. Hmmm.

I have never approached, called or emailed the adoptive family. I have not attempted any form of contact with them or my son. Furthermore, Micah is only 5 years of age, so likely does not see any of the Internet sites that I am connected with.

I must point out the fact that the adoptive parents, Meegan and James Ware began coaching Micah to refer to himself as Austin prior to the initiation of the adoption procedure. I know this to be a fact because during my last visit with Micah, he informed me in no uncertain terms that "No, I not Micah... I Austin!" There was about two weeks that passed between the end of the termination trial and my last visit with my son. Therefore, the coaching may have started directly after my rights were terminated, however, I believe it began the very day my trial started. It occurs to me that CPS authorized the changing of my son's name prior to the initiation of the adoption... and likely at least 6 weeks prior to my last visit with him. (At the start of my "trial" and prior to the termination of my parental rights.) The very fact that the adoptive parents would not wait until after my last visit with Micah shows (a) unbelievable cruelty and (b) they participated in illegal activity. How hurtful it was to see my son for the last time and have him inform me that his name was not the name I gave him at birth. It caught me completely off gaurd-- which I suspect was part of the adoptive parents agenda. It was very alarming to me, however, I let it slide for the remainder of the visit, so as not to upset Micah.



Following is the email correspondene between the adoptive parent's attorney and me. Note the fact that Mr. Iverson changed his mind about speaking or corresponding with me only when he received my list of questions. I have to wonder if the adoptive mother's threats are even legally enforceable.



Tue, June 8, 2010 3:02:09 PM Letter from Wares From: Denise Dopkins View Contact To: mriverson@earthlink.net

Dear Mr. Iverson,

I am contacting you to make a request regarding the letter I received from Meegan Ware. Is there any chance you could send me a copy of that letter via email attachment? I'd sure appreciate it if you could do that for me. Please let me know one way or the other whether or not you can fulfill this request.

Thank you in advance,Denise Dopkins

dd4066@yahoo.com



Thu, June 10, 2010 1:16:28 PM Letter From: Mark R. Iverson View Contact To: dd4066@yahoo.com

Ms. Dopkins:

You sent an email to Mr. Iverson regarding a letter you received from Meegan Ware. That letter was not sent through this office and therefore we do not have a copy of it.

Sincerely,

LeAnn F. BlairLegal Assistant to:

Mark R. Iverson, P.S.921 West Broadway, Suite 301Spokane, WA 99201

1-509-462-3678 1-509-462-3700 (Fax)

http://www.adoptionwa.com/



Fri, June 11, 2010 2:55:09 PM Re: Letter From: Denise Dopkins View Contact To: Mark R. Iverson mriverson@earthlink.net

Dear Ms. Blair, Thank you for your response to my email. I am though confused at your answer-- given that Mr. Iverson is the adoption attorney for the Wares and that Mrs. Ware instructed me to contact Mr. Iverson with any questions regarding the letter in question. Also, the letter was sent from Mr. Iverson's law office address, so I assumed he was aware of its content. Should I assume that Mr. Iverson is not open to communications with me regarding Mrs. Ware's letter? Please respond at your soonest convenience and I thank you in advance. Sincerely,Denise Dopkins dd4066@yahoo.com



Sat, June 12, 2010 6:13:42 AM Re: Letter From: Mark R. Iverson View Contact To: Denise Dopkins dd4066@yahoo.com

I am out of the office until early July. I will speak with you then. You do not have an open adoption agreement with the adoptive parents. They will not be sending you any communication or pictures.

Mark Iverson



Sat, June 12, 2010 5:13:47 PM Re: Letter From: Denise Dopkins View Contact To: Mark R. Iverson mriverson@earthlink.net

Dear Mr. Iverson, Thank you for your email. Just to clarify-- regarding your comment, I have always been with the understanding that the adoptive parents do not communicate with me or send me photos. This has never been a misunderstanding on my part... so I am confused as to why you make the comment regarding it. I have further never attempted contact with the adoptive family or my son in any way, form or matter, so the comment is really misplaced on your part. My intent in contacting you was in regards to the letter I received from Mrs. Ware. She contacted me. Interestingly enough, she has personal contact information. I wonder how she located it. Your assistant, LeAnn F. Blair informed me that the letter Mrs. Ware sent me did not come from your office, even though the return address indicates that it did. I look forward to speaking with you. Please contact me upon your return to your office. I actually just need to clarify a few points regarding Mrs. Ware's letter. I will not respond directly to her. Sincerely,Denise Dopkins dd4066@yahoo.com 509-216-8885



Sun, June 13, 2010 6:52:33 AM Fw: Letter From: Denise Dopkins View Contact To: mriverson@earthlink.net

Dear Mr. Iverson, Regarding my most recent email to you, I must correct a statement I made. I stated that "I have always been with the understanding that the adoptive parents do not communicate with me or send me photos." What I meant to say was "I have always been with the understanding that the adoptive parents do not have to communicate with me or send me photos." It is a fact that I have asked them to reconsider sending me photos. That, however, was quite some time ago. I believe the last time I requested photos from the adoptive parents was November 2008. I now receive copies of photos and letters from my son's natural father, so it is no longer a desperate request. Just as I stated in the email I have forwarded to you today... I have never attempted direct contact with the adoptive family in the sense of visiting, calling or emailing them. I asked the social workers to communicate with the adoptive family for me by passing along the request for photos. I felt I had the right to ask-- even though I refused to write my son off to the state prior to receiving what I was led to believe was a fair trial. I received my answer and have not since asked the adoptive parents for anything. Sincerely,Denise Dopkins dd4066@yahoo.com 509-216-8885



Tue, June 29, 2010 1:06:49 PM Legal questions re the Ware's letter From: Denise Dopkins View Contact To: mriverson@earthlink.net

Dear Mr. Iverson, Given the fact that July is fast approaching, I opted to compose this letter to you. I thought it might be simpler to compile my questions and send them to you for your consideration. Please reply to this email with the answers to my questions. I can then simply keep the email in my personal file and refer to it-- should I again need to refresh my memory regarding the correspondence about the adoptive parent's demands.

1. Regarding the accusation of Meegan Ware, how have I 'invaded the privacy' of the adoptive family?
2. Is it illegal for me to have the common decency to acknowledge my son by his legal name?
3. Is it illegal for me to post photographs of my son and me on my blogs, Facebook, Twitter, etc.?
4. How exactly do the adoptive parents intend to punish Mr. Barrett for something he is not responsible for?
5. Isn't it true that there has to be a valid reason to persuade a judge to amend a court order?
6. Do I not have any rights to the freedom of speech, expression and press?

7. As my son's natural mother, do I not have the right to claim his as my own flesh and blood? Please reply to this email with answers to my very legitimate questions and concerns within 10 working days of the date of this email if at all possible. Thank you in advance.Denise Dopkins dd4066@yahoo.com





Tue, August 17, 2010 8:45:43 AM Re: Legal questions re the Ware's letter From: Mark R Iverson View Contact To: Denise Dopkins dd4066@yahoo.com

You may want to seek the advice of an attorney. I do not believe that any answers I give will be sufficient for you. Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry





Tue, August 17, 2010 4:57:07 PM Re: Legal questions re the Ware's letter From: Denise Dopkins View Contact To: mriverson@earthlink.net Cc: cc@tillett.com; Melinda Bocook ; Jane Boyer ; Barbara Mowrey

Dear Mr. Iverson, Thank you for your response to my email. In response to your comment, I am under the impression that you are an attorney. Furthermore, as I previously informed you, Mrs. Ware directed me to contact you with any questions I have concerning her letter. I further do not understand what you mean when you say that any answers you give wouldn't be sufficient for me. I am merely contacting you because you are an attorney and would of course have the legal answers to the questions I presented to you. Whether or not the answers please me is not the issue here. I am merely seeking the accurate answers... period. I will assume Mrs. Ware was mistaken when she informed me that you would be the appropriate person to contact concerning her letter, unless of course, you proceed to assist her as your client. I will also proceed to contact several other attorneys who offer consultations-- in order to present the same questions to them. I would then compare notes and decide how to proceed. I am not necessarily convinced that it is mandatory that I abide by the adoptive parents demands. Mr. Iverson, I still encourage you to come forth with the answers to my very legitimate questions. (Regardless of whether or not those answers would make me happy.) After all, there are often things in life that do not make people particularly happy. Sincerely, Denise Dopkins dd4066@yahoo.com